Some thoughts...

Summer is passing.  The heavy dew in the mornings, the sound of crickets chirping, the appearance of goldenrod and the shorter days are all reminding us that time is moving on.  The seasons will change.

My life is changing, too.  I'm getting used to it, but there are adjustments being made. I love to get rid of stuff and I don't like to leave things hanging, so as soon as our decision was made, I went through all the baby stuff, passing along whatever was in good shape.  I cleared out a lot of room in the basement and the linen closet.  Babies, or better put, the stuff we have for babies, takes up a lot of room.  It was a little sad, because some of the things we'd had for so long and they brought back sweet memories.  It also signalled a definite closing, which, on one hand was what I needed, but on the other it was just so final. But I'm too practical to hang on to all of those things when they could be put to use by someone else.  And I know that we've appreciated the many offers of used clothes and items that have come our way over the years, and would like to share with others in the same way.

It's a weird idea for us, having no more babies.  As I look ahead to this school year, I realize I can make plans without having to work the schedule around a tired, pregnant mama or a wee one.  Wow. That's never happened before!  I'll still have eight students, a preschooler and a toddler so there'll be challenges to face, but this is sure to be easier than what we're used to.  In another year or so we'll have no more diapers to change and no diaper bag to carry along.  That's never happened before either!   We might even try camping again.  After our last attempt four years ago, when Gavin was a year old, we said we would not go camping again with anyone under two years.  So...over the years that has somehow turned into a promise and with Nadia turning two next March...we better count on going next summer. :)  Every day Nadia looks less like a baby. She toddles all over the place, understands a lot of what we say to her and sports two pigtails. She's growing that 'little girl' look.  So cute!  But so too big! For many years it felt like the stage we were in with little ones would last forever.  It doesn't.  For us it's coming to an end sooner and more suddenly than we thought it would.  And while this change means that in many ways our life will be easier, we're thankful for all those years we could (and still do) spend caring for our little - and not so little - blessings.

I have to get used to the idea that I'm not the healthy person I once was.  Not that I'm sick - in many ways I am and feel healthier than ever.  But I'm a person with a medical condition.  That's not such a big deal, but requires a shift in my thinking.  The other night I went with Gerald to the blood donor clinic.  He donates regularly and I was hoping to be able to do it as well.  But when I was going over the questionaire with the nurse, I had to tell her why I had been in a doctor's care.  When I mentioned the aneurysm, the nurse looked rather alarmed.  I assured her that I was OK and not likely to collapse in front of her. I wasn't so sure that she wouldn't collapse, though. ;)  She told me that she didn't think I was a good candidate. That doesn't make sense to me - I think she was just being overly cautious, but anyway, it bothered me.  And I've been thinking about why it would bother me.  I think it's that by being labeled with a medical condition I am confronted with my vulnerability.  I am reminded of my frailty as a human.  And that's not a pleasant thought at first.  But the wonderful thing is that I am not left alone in that condition.  God is my strength and refuge.  This is just another reminder that I cannot go on my own strength.  And that whatever my condition might be or become, God has chosen this path for me and will provide all I need to carry out His purpose for me. 

Love,